Monday, March 21, 2011

A Wonderful Quote

The used to be my favorite time of year.  It's "no weather" in Arizona...not too hot, not cold.  Weather you can hang with friends outside with a cocktail or relax by the pool without sweating like crazy or what I'll always remember...sitting in the backyard with my sweet munchkin, Taylor.  We'd swing on the hammock and I'd tell her all about the trees and the flowers.  The wind would blow and she'd take a little gasp and look around in wonder.   The bright lights and sounds she loved so much.  I'd tell her all about the swimming pool and how her Daddy couldn't wait to teach her how to swim.  Such joy.  And now Spring brings such a sadness, such a longing for the sweet baby girl who touched so many lives.  I hear the birds chirping and I have to search deep down in my soul for a smile.  A smile that I know she'd want me to have.  And a smile that I know would make her smile...but it's just not the same. 

I can't believe it's been almost a year.  The days blow by and that "anniversary" looms.  The day we lost our sweet baby girl...will forever bring a new sadness to Spring.

While the sadness is always there, I keep trying to remind myself of all the lives she touched.  My counselor shared a poem with me the last time I saw her.  She said it made her think of Taylor...

"The life I touch for good or ill will touch another life, and that in turn another, until who knows where the trembling stops or in what far place my touch will be felt" - Frederick Buechner


momo said...

i love the line in its a wonderful life where they say that every time you hear a bell ring, an angel gets its wings. perhaps each time you hear those birds chirping, its taylor trying in her way to remind you to smile.

i agree with the quote your counselor shared. taylor's touch has rippled beyond your immediate circle to places you will never know. what an incredible blessing for the rest of us.

big hugs to you.

Angela said...

You gave my daughter a card after a discussion about SIDS death. Her sister died in 1998 in Hilo,HI.
(Amber Lynn Brush,
Oct. 20,1987-Feb. 2,1989)
This poem was given to me at that time. I wanted to share it.
God's Lent Child
"I'll lend you for a little while
A child of mine" God said -
For you to love the while he lives
and mourn for when he's dead.
It may be six or seven years
or forty two or three
but will you, till I call him back,
take care of him for me?
He'll bring his charms to gladden you
and, should his stay be brief,
you'll have his nicest memories
as solace for his grief.
I cannot promise he will stay,
since all from earth return
but, there are lessons taught below,
I want this child to learn.
I've looked the whole world over,
in my search for teachers true,
and from the things that crowd life's lane
I have chosen you.
Now will you give him all your love,
nor think the labor vain,
nor hate me when I come to take
this lent child back again?
I fancied that I heard them say,
"Dear Lord Thy Will Be Done"
for all the joys thy child will bring
the risk of grief we'll run.
We'll shelter him with tenderness,
we'll love him while we may,
and for the happiness we've known
forever grateful stay.
But, should thy Angels call for him
much sooner than we planned,
we'll brave the grief that comes
and try to understand.
- Author Unknown